By Nick Nilsson
Author of 30-Second Ab-Solution
As a long-time trainer, I've tried a lot of bodybuilding supplements and I've seen a lot of supplements come and go.
Some have been good; some have been garbage. Here's a few that never even came close...
1. The Protein Powder Keg - a 100 pound barrel of explosive protein (don't light a match after ingesting). Contains over 100 megatons of power per keg.
2. Cheese Whiz Creatine - if creatine is unstable in a liquid, surely it must be stable in a thick, cheesy goo.
3. Saw Clamato - a Saw Palmetto and Clamato juice knock-off. It doesn't do anything for your prostate but it tastes really good when mixed with other supplements.
4. Sucker 2, The World's Strongest Fat Burglar - burns the fat off your body while you sleep! Unfortunately, you will never sleep again if you take it regularly.
5. DHEAHMBCLANO2WWECNN - the latest innovation in shotgun supplementation. Fire it all in - something's gotta work!
6. Ephedra-Free Ma Huang - works best in combination with caffeine-free guarana and aspirin-free white willow bark.
7. The Super-Complete Trainers Multi-Vitamin - contains every single nutrient in optimal quantities for hard-training athletes. Each pill weighs six pounds and must be held under the tongue for 3 hours. Also available in a gel-cap the size of your head.
8. High-Protein Kibbles & Creatine Bits - Purina's first (and last) foray into the supplement industry.
9. Meal Replacement Bar - instead of eating, you go to a tavern and get loaded.
10. Krazy-Glue-Cosamine - seal up joint injuries permanently.
11. Vitamin C Biscuits - a shameless marketing ploy by Hollywood to promote a film. Nothing but orange-flavored horse manure.
12. CLBA - Conjugated Linoleic Battery Acid - for use whenever you need a jump-start in your training.
13. Hydrogen Dioxide - this chemical is currently under investigation by the International Olympic Committee for its powerful performance-enhancing effects in the human body. Although it is available in many fruity flavors, the generic version of H2O is by far the most popular among athletes.
As you can see, supplementation can be confusing, but, if you're looking for that extra boost in your training, stick with proven supplements such as protein, creatine, glutamine and multi-vitamins (and plenty of hydrogen dioxide!) and you can't go wrong.
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