By Nick Nilsson
Author of 30-Second Ab-Solution
January is New Year's Resolution time.
Lose weight, gain weight, quit smoking, start smoking, get rich, spend more time working and less time with their families...you name it, people resolve to do it.
Yet how many people actually succeed with their resolutions?
According to a statistic I just made up, 75% of people fail to keep their New Year's Resolutions. That number is even higher with weight loss resolutions.
Why, you ask?
Well, here are my Top 20 Excuses Why New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight End in Failure...
20. I wasn't getting enough to eat on one diet so I had to go on three.
19. It's winter and I need the extra insulation to keep warm.
18. I went to the gym and somebody was on the first machine I wanted to use so I realized everything happens for a reason and it wasn't meant to be.
17. I went to the gym and there was no lifeguard on duty in case the rowing machine sank.
16. Turns out I didn't really mean it.
15. My other resolution to quit being a cranky jerk all the time wasn't working with my low-carb diet.
14. There was a big game on...Wheel of Fortune is a game, right?
13. If I fix everything about me now, I'll have nothing to resolve for next year.
12. I figured since rice cakes don't have many calories, the same was true of other cakes. Like fudge cake. And pancakes. With syrup. And fudge.
11. My personal trainer called and said if I didn't show up for my session on Friday, don't bother showing up on Monday. YES. 4 day weekend.
10. No ashtrays on the treadmills at the gym. How do they expect me stay on that thing for an hour without a cigarette?
9. I accidentally added the holes back into my donuts.
8. I ordered 3 different ab training informercial products and now my stomach is 3 times the size it was.
7. The economy is in such rough shape, I can't afford the new clothes I'll have to buy as I get smaller.
6. I have to buy junk foods "for the kids" even though I don't have kids.
5. I messed up and ate a chip on Day 2 so I gave up until next January.
4. I need to get in better shape before I can join a gym...to get in better shape...so I can join a gym...to get in better shape...
3. I made a resolution to give up drinking so I could lose weight but I did it while I was drunk.
2. I don't want to insult my co-workers by not eating birthday cake at the office...even if I have to bring it myself.
1. An NSA drone just delivered a pizza.
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