Horror Story #1 - Tuna and Cereal
This is the most vomitorious of the recipes I've ever tried. I was bored one day and was looking for a way to increase the protein content of my Mini-Wheats. So naturally, dumping a can of tuna into it was the way to go.
Really, really, really bad.
Horror Story #2 - Dry Potatoes and Canned Chicken Meat With Accidental Cinnamon
So here's me thinking that I wanted to keep the fat content of this meal down so I didn't add any butter to the potatoes and cooked them up really good in the microwave (which basically burns all the moisture right out of them). Great start.
Then I figured what better way to add moisture than by opening a can of chicken directly onto the potatoes. Yep, sounding more and more delicious.
Then in my infinite wisdom and skill, I figured, let's throw on a little something spicy for flavor...some chili powder...which, of course, turned out to be cinnamon, which of course is just gross on canned chicken and dry potatoes.
But I ate it anyway because I was hungry and too lazy to make something else...
Horror Story# 3 - Kitchen Sink Dessert
This actually has a double meaning to it...First, I put in everything BUT the kitchen sink. Second, it all ENDED UP in the kitchen sink by the time I tasted it.
I started with some melted-down fat-free chocolate ice cream...then some vanilla extract, then some red Jello mix, then graham crackers, then a little cinnamon (on purpose this time), then a little more cinnamon, then way too much cinnamon, then some skim milk, then something else that I can't remember anymore but probably should've left out.
Then I mixed it all up in the bowl and tasted it.
It was like getting smacked in the face with a sour chocolate-covered cinnamon cracker brick. Not nice. And that's where part 2 of the kitchen sink came into play.
Horror Story #4 - Accidental Bacon Fat Sculpture
When I first started using Low-Carb diets many years ago, I realized I actually quite liked bacon. And I ended up eating it WAY too much. Heck, low-carb I can get away with it, right?
Well, from a nutritional standpoint, it's obviously not the best. I very rarely ever eat it anymore. But back then (and this was about 15 years ago when I was in University), I was eating it constantly.
Until the day I moved out of the apartment I was living in when the school year was done...
I always cooked the bacon in the microwave thinking that hey, it's a self-contained box. Even it spatters a bit, I just clean out the inside and we're good to go.
Then I went to pack up my microwave...I lifted it up and there underneath it was an inch-thick layer of bacon fat congealed onto the counter with neat little holes where the feet of the microwave were and grill pattern from the bottom of the microwave.
Evidently microwaves AREN'T fully sealed up and bacon fat WILL find it's way out...and form art.
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