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From the
Obsessive Compulsive Rep Counter to Leisure Suit
Larry in Gym Shorts, these are the people that you meet when
you're lifting.
Sometimes, when a person sets foot inside the gym, they turn into a whole other
person. If you've been to pretty much any gym in the world, you are sure to
recognize the people you're about to read about...
1. Smell Me Madge, I Soaked
In It.
You can detect this person
coming before they even set foot inside the door of the gym. Little tip: it's
fine to wear a little perfume or cologne to the gym but don't soak your clothes
in it. Have a shower instead.
2. Obsessive Compulsive
Rep Counter
Like a meditation mantra,
the numbers get counted until the specific magic number has been reached. To
really have some fun, stand behind this person as they do their set and start
saying random numbers out loud as they count.
3. Leisure Suit Larry In
Gym Shorts
Looking for love in all
the wrong places. Often a colgne-soaker and always on the prowl, even constant
and harsh rejection from every single female he encounters (including the potted
plants) doesn't seem to slow Larry down.
4. Don't Make Me Lift That
Heavy Thing
If you've ever watched someone
monopolize the 2-pound neoprene dumbells for 20 minutes, you've seen this person
in action. Fear of developing massive, icky-looking, veiny muscles from even
looking at anything heavier than a Rice Krispie Treat keeps this person away
from the weights that actually have numbers written on them. I've seen a person
like this straining with a novelty dumbell pen.
5. You Don't Need A Jack
For That Car Now That I'm Here
Cinch that weight belt up
until you look like a big red Pop 'n Fresh doughboy in a corset, it's time to
do 3 inch, hunched-over, bowl-legged, shaky-leg squats! There's something to
be said for lifting within your means (and for not cinching your weight belt
up so tight that you c--p yourself during a set).
6. Where's The Ashtray For
This Treadmill?
You can always spot the
person who's at the gym against their will and under doctors orders. They are
doing as little as possible as slowly as possible and are always looking for
somebody to work in with them so that they can stop.
7. The Bouncy Bench Press
Crew
Young males travelling in
packs of 3 or more, hogging the bench press for uncounted sets of trampoline-like
reps with far too much weight while their training partners yell "it's
all you" as though it really is. I hear the concave chest look is "in"
this year...
8. Please Don't Wear That
Some people simply should
NOT wear spandex and I can't figure out why they do. I'll leave it at that.
9. The Brick Wall
No matter how much anybody
tells this person that the exercise they're doing is going to shatter their
spine, they continue to pig-headedly do it anyway because their 9th grade gym
teacher taught it to them 26 years ago.
10. The Beast
You'll often see this person
banging their head against the concrete wall to psych themselves up for a set
because "drywall is just too soft."
11. The Mountain Man
Apparently, he just walked
in from taking down some trees in the backcountry and didn't have time to change
out of his dirty sweatpants, flannel shirt and work boots before heading to
the gym.
12. The Gym Bunny
If you're not in the gym
for a serious workout, but to set the stair machine on 1 and try desperately
hard not to sweat and mess up your precious hair and makeup, hop yourself out
the door. Leisure Suit Larry is hanging out in the parking lot waiting someone...
ANYONE.
------------------
Nick Nilsson is Vice-President
of the online personal training company BetterU, Inc. He has a degree in Physical
Education and Psychology and has been inventing new training techniques for
more than 16 years. Nick is the author of a number of bodybuilding eBooks including
"Metabolic Surge - Rapid Fat Loss," "The Best Exercises You've
Never Heard Of," "Gluteus to the Maximus - Build a Bigger Butt NOW!"
and "The Best Abdominal Exercises You've Never Heard Of" all available
at (http://www.fitness-ebooks.com).
He can be contacted at betteru@fitstep.com.
