Don't
Blow Your Nose In The Water Fountain
Discover some of the more "colorful"
rules of the gym.
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We
all know the general rules of the gym: don't drop the
weights, wipe your sweat off the machines when you're
done, etc. But do you know all about the more "colorful",
lesser known rules of the gym?
NOTE:
These rules are JOKES! If you ever see any of these
rules posted at any gym you ever go to, please take
a picture for me!
1. Don't blow your nose in the water fountain.
This is a crude habit and can contribute to the spread
of colds and viruses. Besides, that's what the gym towels
are for...
2. No smoking on the cardio machines.
Those little circular spots are water-bottle holders,
not ashtrays. If you need a cigarette that badly when
you're working out, tape one to the pulldown bar and
take a drag on it as a reward for each rep you do.
3. When spotting someone on bench press, be sure
to wipe your face first.
You are not a stalactite, and dripping sweat into someone's
eye is not a good way to make friends.
4. If you choose to wear cologne or perfume to the
gym, please don't marinate in it.
If the person on the stair machine next to you lights
up a cigarette, you could both be seriously injured.
5. Those stands that have all the weight plates on
them should not be used for holding your donuts.
Your donuts will end up with a terrible metallic taste
that even the coffee in your water bottle won't be able
to get out of your mouth.
6. The Crunch Machine is not a vending machine for
candy bars.
Please don't try to put money into this machine. It's
for working your abdominals. You will never, EVER get
a Nestle's Crunch bar out of it.
7. Even though the gym has stair machines, it is
not required by law to have elevator machines.
Please stop asking about this at the reception desk.
8. Pick up after your dog when you walk him on the
treadmill.
No explanation necessary.
9. If you have a habit of spraying spit when you
lift, ensure there is no one in your target area.
It's bad enough that the mirrors by the squat rack look
like a St. Bernard shook himself in front of them.
10. Do not give yourself C.P.R. when doing bench
presses.
Bouncing the bar heavily off your ribcage instead of
pressing it properly may cause damage to the bar and
voids the warranty on the bench. Besides that, you don't
want your spotter feeling as though he's dribbling a
barbell down the court do you?
11. Beer and/or liquor in your water bottle are prohibited.
Unless, of course, you bring enough for everybody. This
also goes for mochaccinos, frappaccinos, and anything
with an umbrella in it.
12.
Use the rowing machine at your own risk.
If it sinks, there are no lifeguards on duty.
Following these rules to the best of your ability will
ensure a pleasant exercise experience for everyone.
Thank
you.
