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BetterU News - Issue #54 - Bench Press Leg Raises, Twists For Getting Rid of Love Handles, How to Make Your Hips Wider

 

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BetterU News Issue #54
Home -> BetterU News Archive -> Issue #54 - August 22nd, 2007

 


Inside This Issue:

Note: All links in the articles will open in new windows

Secret Training Tip #990 - Bench Press Leg Raise Crunches For Lower Abs

Tighten those lower abs FAST with this extraordinary exercise. Not only does it hit the lower abs HARD, it takes almost ALL the stress off the lower back when you're doing a leg raise movement!

Read it now!

Secret Training Tip #991 - Trunk Twists With a Twist - Tighten Your Love Handles NOW

The "love handle" area on your sides is one of THE biggest targets for tightening up. While this exercise WON'T directly burn the fat off, it WILL tighten the muscles UNDERNEATH the fat so that you achieve the more streamlined waist you're looking for!

Read it now!

"The Best Abdominal Exercises You've Never Heard"
Special CRAZY Limited-Quantity Offer!

How To Train To WIDEN The Hips - Yes, It CAN Be Done!

To most people, the goal is the opposite...slim the hips. But if you've searched in vain for information on how to really INCREASE hip size, you've come to the right place! I'll tell you exactly what kind of training you need to do to achieve this.

Read it now!

Read The Winning Entry in our Funniest Workout Story Contest!

This is one HILARIOUS story...it's all about a giant ego, a treadmill and how to REALLY make an impression!

Read it now!


FREE Fitness Articles For Your Website!

Increase your site traffic now! Use the professionally-written fat loss, muscle-building and exercise articles you find in the BetterU News Archive FREE on your website.

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NOTE: All articles in BetterU News are written by Nick Nilsson -
http://www.fitstep.com/ unless otherwise credited.



Secret Training Tip #990 - Bench Press Leg Raise Crunches For Lower Abs

Tighten those lower abs FAST with this extraordinary exercise. Not only does it hit the lower abs HARD, it takes almost ALL the stress off the lower back when you're doing a leg raise movement!


So who doesn't want to tighten up their lower abs...raise your hand. Not a single hand went up...I had a feeling!

Well, I'm going to show you a leg-raise type of exercise that hits the lower abs HARD. Working the lower abs will help you tighten up any lower-belly protrusions you might have AND, if you've got fairly low bodyfat already, get those diagonal lines down your side/lower abs (technically known as the inguinal ligaments) that really catch the eye.

Here's the best part...not only does this exercise hit the lower abs HARD, it takes practically ALL the stress off the lower back while doing it (a common problem with lying leg raises). The secret lies in the special way in which it's set up and performed.

What you're basically going to be doing is holding the bar (or dumbells) in the top position of a bench press while performing leg raises! It sounds simple and, honestly, it really is!

We're going to be using that weight that you're holding in the bench press top position to counterbalance the weight of your legs while you're doing the leg raise.

I've found this to make the leg raise exercise even MORE effective for the lower abs by anchoring your upper body, letting the abs really focus on doing the leg raise exercise without the torque on the lower back.


How To Do It:

The set up is simple...all you need is a barbell or dumbells. If you're using a barbell, I recommend doing the exercise in the power rack or on a flat barbell bench press station. If you're using dumbells, you can do this exercise just lying flat on the floor (you can just set the dumbells on the floor when you're done).

If you're using the barbell and rack setup, set the safety rails in the rack to a couple of feet off the ground. Lie down on the floor and grip the bar with a medium to close grip - no need to use a wide grip. The closer grip will be easier to maintain while doing the exercise.

As for the amount of weight to use, you don't need a tremendous amount for the exercise and counterbalancing to be effective. For myself, I just use 135 lbs on the bar and that works just fine. If you're using dumbells, it will also depend on how much you can hold up in that position when you're doing the exercise. Just experiment with what feels comfortable to you and take it from there!

Hold the weight at the top of the bench press with your arms locked out. Your legs will start out straight (or knees slightly bent) and horizontal, just off the ground.

In traditional lower ab leg raises, this places tremendous pressure on the lower back. Not here! The weight of the barbell counterbalances the legs and takes the stress off the lower back. The position of your arms (90 degrees to the body) also helps keep torque off the lower back.

Now do regular leg raises from there, keeping the legs stiff and slightly bent, bringing them all the way up to vertical.

Squeeze hard at the top then lower down slowly, bringing the legs down to a point a few inches from the floor. Keeping the legs off the floor keeps the tension on the abs strongly.

In the traditional leg raise, this is where you would have the most torque and pain in the lower back. When the legs are counterbalanced with the barbell, this position doesn't put NEARLY the same torque on the lower back!

This exercise hits the extreme lower abs like you just can't do with regular leg raises because of the counterbalancing force of the barbell held above you. The best part is, it can be done with barbells or dumbells so all you need are some free weights and you're ready to go!


Common Errors:

1. Letting the feet touch

Normally, not letting the feet touch the ground in between reps is what sends all the torque onto the lower back. With the counterbalance of the weight, you don't have that problem and can really attack the lower abs. Keep your feet 6 inches off the ground as you come down.

2. Not using enough weight

Be sure you have enough weight on the bar/dumbells that you effectively counterbalance your legs. If the weight isn't enough, you won't get the full benefits of the exercise. It's something you can experiment with. Remembers, you're NOT pressing the weight, you're just holding it in a lockout position so don't be shy to use a moderately heavy weight.


Tricks:

1. Add a crunch to meet in the middle

To really fire the total abdominal area, you can also do a crunch (against the resistance of the barbell/dumbells) at the same time as you do the leg raise. This double contraction against resistance will really fire up the abs!

Try this movement with your feet on the floor first (knees bent 90 degrees) so you get an idea of how it's done. Basically, it's just a simple crunch movement but done while holding the barbell in the lockout position!

When you include it in the with the leg raise (done simultaneously, coming up into the crunch as you are raising your legs), it makes for TREMENDOUS tension in the entire abdominal area.

---

CONCLUSION

This is an excellent exercise variation to use if you're interested in working the lower abs HARD. It takes the vast majority of the stress off the lower back and allows you to really dig in and work those lower abs into the ground!


NOTE: This exercise can be found in my abdominal training book "The Best Abdominal Exercises You've Never Heard Of." Be sure to check out the special limited-quantity offer I've posted after the next exercise!


For pictures and video of this exercise in action, click on the following link:

http://www.fitstep.com/Misc/Newsletter-archives/issue54-lower-abs.htm



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Secret Training Tip #991 - Trunk Twists With a Twist - Tighten Your Love Handles NOW

The "love handle" area on your sides is one of THE biggest targets for tightening up. While this exercise WON'T directly burn the fat off, it WILL tighten the muscles UNDERNEATH the fat so that you achieve the more streamlined waist you're looking for!


The "love handles" are the areas just above your hips on your sides. But I don't know many people who truly love theirs, which is why one of THE most common training goals around is getting rid of those things!

But here's the problem...sometimes, even fat loss doesn't always cut it when it comes to reducing the love handle area! Sure, you can peel off a lot of the fat, but even LEAN people sometimes find that this area STILL pokes out more than it should for the amount of bodyfat they carry.

It can be a VERY frustrating thing, knowing that you're doing all you can to lose fat and your love handles are still there.

But there IS hope (and it's NOT surgery)! I've got an exercise for you that will help to tighten up the muscles (the obliques) that lie directly UNDERNEATH the love handle area.

While this won't burn any of the fat that sits there (NO ab exercises will do THAT), it WILL help reduce the appearance and bulge of the area, giving you the more streamlined waist you want.

So what is this magical exercise? I call it the "Trunk Twist With a Twist." This technique was a favorite of legendary bodybuilder Serge Nubret for acheiving the wasp-thin waist he was famous for.

On the surface, this exercise looks a lot like the regular broomstick twist you see people doing to warm up sometimes. Here's the difference...instead of just mindlessly rotating your torso from side to side, you're going to focus on SQUEEZING the obliques hard while keeping your head LOCKED in a forward position.

This squeezing technique will dramatically tighen the obliques and help you diminish those love handles once and for all!


How To Do It:

The setup for this exercise is simple! Put a bar or stick across your shoulders with your hands over the top and arms stretched out to the sides. Stand with your feet about a foot apart. Now begin to twist your upper body around to the left side.

Here is the key...while you are twisting, keep your head facing STRAIGHT FORWARD instead of turning your head along with your torso as you normally would. This is extremely important! If you turn your head, the exercise will be useless!

It's a good idea to do this exercise in front of a mirror (if you have one available), so you can see exactly what is going on. Look straight at yourself in the mirror and DO NOT move your head while you twist your torso (in fact, for a little extra squeeze, you can try to look as much as you can the OPPOSITE way).

Keep twisting all the way around until you've turned as far as you can. When doing this twist, I like to try to tilt the bar down a bit towards the side I'm twisting to. This helps to increase the activation of the obliques by bending the torso over to the side a bit.

At the height of the twist, squeeze the oblique area (right where your love handles are), contracting it AS HARD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN and holding it for 3 to 5 seconds. This is the "money" part of the exercise. The actual twist only serves to get you into that position!

When you've squeezed everything out of the left side, rotate around to the right side and do the same thing.


Common Errors:

1. Going too fast

It is important to slow this exercise down and get a good squeeze on every single turn. If you simply bounce from one stretch to the other, you'll get nothing out of this exercise. The only good part is the contraction.

2. Not squeezing the obliques hard

As in #1, if you don't squeeze, you won't get results. Going through the motions won't do a thing for you.

3. Letting your head turn with your torso

If you turn your head along with your torso, the effect of the exercise will be greatly reduced. If you find that you have a hard time keeping your head forward, try turning it the other way as you turn your torso. This will help to put the squeeze on your sides.


Tricks

1. Raising the knee

To help increase the squeeze on the obliques, as you twist to one side, come up on your toes to raise your knee up towards your opposing hand as it comes around, e.g. if you're twisting to the left, raise your left knee to try and meet your right hand. This increases the contraction on the obliques by helping to shorten the muscle from the other end (below), basically the opposing action to tilting the bar down that I mentioned prior.

2. Breathe in and out

Hold the contraction for a few seconds and breathe in and out, squeezing out all the air you can on each exhalation. This will help get an even tighter contraction in the area.

3. Pull with one hand, push with the other

As you do the twist, push with the far hand and pull with the other for a greater contraction. For example, if you're twisting to the left, pull on the bar with your left hand and push it forward with your right.

4. Suck in your gut

As you come towards the full turn, suck in your gut. This places an even greater contraction on the oblique muscle, tightening it up even further.


CONCLUSION:

This exercise requires some practice to really get the maximum squeeze out of the muscles, but once you know how to do it, you'll love it! To get the best results out of this exercise, perform it at the end of every single workout you do. Do just one or two sets of between 15 and 30 reps.

This is not a power or resistance-based exercise. It's all about the squeeze and the contraction, which is why we're doing the higher reps here.

NOTE: This exercise can be found in my abdominal training book "The Best Abdominal Exercises You've Never Heard Of." Be sure to check out the special limited-quantity offer I've posted just below!

For pictures and video of this exercise in action, click on the following link:

http://www.fitstep.com/Misc/Newsletter-archives/issue54-twist.htm


Want more articles like this? Subscribe to BetterU News now!



"The Best Abdominal Exercises You've Never Heard" - Special CRAZY Limited-Quantity Offer!

Have you checked out the two exercises above? If you liked those, you're going to LOVE the exercises you find in the "Best Ab Exercises" book. 77 exercises just like the two you read about just now!

I'll get right to the offer...then crazy part of it...

When I first put out the "Best Ab Exercises" book, it contained 55 exercises. Well, that wasn't enough for me...so I put together an additional 22 EXERCISES to add to it!

But when I put those 22 exercises into the book, I had ALREADY gotten printed copies of the original version with 55 exercises. So I had update versions printed up with just those 22 exercises.

To make a long story short, I've now got the full 77 exercises in the printed version of the book - no problem there. But I'm stuck with 48 EXTRA COPIES of the 22-exercise printed "update" of the book.

Well, they're taking up space in my office and I want to get them out. So I want to offer these printed "update" books to you for JUST $14.95!

Here's the CRAZY part.

When you purchase this "update" printed version, I'm going to ALSO throw in the FULL DOWNLOADED 77-exercise version of "The Best Abdominal Exercises" as well!

So not only will you get the 22-exercise printed book, you'll get the FULL ebook with ALL the exercises in it as well. Normally, the ebook ALONE goes for $29.95. You'll get BOTH for HALF that price.

But when the 48 books are gone, deal's over.


You can learn more about "The Best Abdominal Exercises" here:

http://www.fitstep.com/best-ab-exercises/best-ab-exercises.htm


Then go to this link below right away to grab your copy before they're all snapped up!

http://www.fitstep.com/best-ab-exercises/update-deal.htm


If you're curious, here's a list of the exercises you'll find in the update (just f.y.i., many of these are done with NO equipment at all!):

Inverse Crunches
Pinchy Sit-Ups
Side Ab Push-Ups
Bench Press Crunch Leg Raises
Side Towel Rows
Foot Resisted Side Crunches
Bridging Supports
Hanging Crunches
Ground Push Crunches
Drawn and Quartered
Leg Press Push Crunches
Lying Pull-Up Roll-Ups
Towel Cradle Side Crunches
Momentum Sit-Ups
Barbell Lever Pulls
Crab Walk Leg Raises
Barbell Baton Twirling
EZ Bar Rollers
Feet-On-Wall Static Holds
Lying Leg Resistance Raises and Crunches
Side Claw Pulls
Weight Plate Steering Wheel Rolls

So go get your copy now!

http://www.fitstep.com/best-ab-exercises/update-deal.htm




How To Train To WIDEN The Hips - Yes, It CAN Be Done!

To most people, the goal is the opposite...slim the hips. But if you've searched in vain for information on how to really INCREASE hip size, you've come to the right place! I'll tell you exactly what kind of training you need to do to achieve this.


Wider hips...it may not be the most common goal of women who train but, I can promise you, there are a LOT of women out there who would LOVE to build wider hips without putting on a lot of fat!

I'll tell you right now, it's not going to be easy but it definitely CAN be done!

But first...want to know the reason why it's so tough to increase hip width without gaining a lot of fat in the area? It all comes down to your bones.

You see, hip width (not counting fat deposits in the area) is primarily determined by your pelvis size. If you've got genetically narrow hip bones (you can thank your parents for that!), it's going to be much tougher to achieve the wider hips you're looking for.

It's the very same situation with the shoulders - if you want wider shoulders, you're limited by bone structure. You then have to focus on building the lateral delts (the side heads of the shoulder muscles) to give the appearance of wider shoulders.

But the only hitch with the hips is that there really isn't a whole lot of muscle mass available to build onto the outside of your pelvis! In that respect, it's actually EASIER to build wider shoulders with weight training than it is to build wider hips.

The main muscles that operate in the hip area (for our purposes) are the three glute muscles...the gluteus maximus (the main butt muscle), gluteus medius and gluteus minimus.

The primary function of the gluteus maximus is to bring the leg backwards (a.k.a. hip extension). It's a big, powerful muscle because this function is our primary method of moving forward! Every time you push backwards to take a step, that's the gluteus maximus at work.

But the smaller gluteus medius and minimus muscles are what we'll need to focus on to try and increase hip width. These two muscles are what's known as abductors.

Abduction is the biomechanical term for moving a limb AWAY from the midline of the body. In this case, it's moving the thigh away from the center of the body. If you're familiar with adduction (where you bring the legs in towards each other and squeeze the thighs together), it's the opposite movement.

So to widen the hips through training, we need to focus some intense work on the gluteus medius and minimus muscles. And when I say intense work, I'm NOT talking about those light pumping movements where you try and "go for the burn!"

For our purposes, those are not only a waste of time but completely counterproductive. Light weight exercises won't build hips and will interfere with the muscle-building stimulus we're going for that WILL actually build the hips. So toss "The Firm" videos back into the pile if you want to build wider hips. Those won't cut it.

If you want results, it's time to break out the dumbells and barbells and dig into some REAL weight training!


NOTE: the exercises I'm about explain are probably not familiar
to you. Be VERY sure to click on the link at the bottom and
watch the videos on how to perform these exercises properly.
They will help you a LOT!


The absolute BEST exercise for increasing hip width is NOT an isolation abduction exercise. You may have seen abduction machines in the gym where you sit on a chair and force your legs outwards against resistance. I'm sure you've seen them...they always seem to place those machines directly across from the cardio equipment or opposite the gym entrance!

The best exercise is called the Side Lunge and it can be done with a barbell OR dumbells. But I'm not going to have you do the NORMAL side lunge...that exercise forces you to use lighter weights so you don't strain your knees. This version allows for more resistance and, therefore, more potential muscle growth and hip width!

So how do you do the Side Lunge? Well, the "normal" technique has you starting in a standing position. Then you step one foot directly out to the side (sometimes at angle forwards rather than directly to the side) and lower your body down into a lunge. You come down, bending your knee, then you push all the way back up to the standing position.

The problem with this technique is the lateral stress that gets placed on the knee when you step down to the side. The knees aren't designed to take a lot of sideways pressure - they're all about going forward and back (like a hinge). There's some room to manuever but sideways movement against momentum can be tough on the knees - just ask any running back in football!

So instead of stepping out to the side on each rep then pushing all the way back up, we're going to do it differently. You'll take that first step out to the side and plant your foot about 2 feet out. And you're going to keep it there!

If you stepped out to the right, bend your right knee and come down into a lunge position. Your left leg will be completely straight and act as a pivot. Come down until your thigh is parallel to the ground then, using hip power, push yourself back up, straightening your right leg but WITHOUT popping all the way back to a standing position where your feet are together.

Remember, we're keeping our feet in the SAME position for the whole exercise.

When you come to the top, you're now going to lunge down to the OTHER side. Come down until your leg knee is bent 90 degrees then push back back up. Again, you're NOT popping up to a total standing position - just straightening your legs. This not only spares your knees, it allows you to keep tension on the muscles better AND use heavier resistance!

You can do this exercise with a barbell or 2 dumbells. When using a barbell, just hold it across your shoulders and be careful with your balance. If you do this exercise with a barbell, it's best to use a rack so you don't have to press the weight overhead and set it down on your shoulders. Just note, you'll be doing this exercise OUTSIDE the rack (there isn't

The dumbell version will be the easiest setup. All you need to do is pick up the dumbells! When you perform the exercise, hand position is important. If you're lunging down to the right, the right-hand dumbell should be on the outside of your right hip. The left-hand dumbell should be held in front of your body down between your legs. This is the best position for balance and resistance.

Then you just reverse it when you go down to the other side - left dumbell on the outside of your left hip and right dumbell down in between your legs.

The first time you do this exercise, use a light to moderate weight so you get an idea of how the exercise is performed. Once you feel comfortable with it, THEN starting boosting the weight.

  • Ideally, you want to use a weight where you can ONLY get 8 to 10 reps on each side. You have to challenge the muscles to see results! Sets of 15 to 20 reps won't build the hips.
  • Do 3 sets of this exercise with 60 to 90 seconds rest in between sets. THEN you go onto the abduction-isolation style of exercise.
  • For this one, we're NOT going to be using any machines. This is a dumbell exercise all the way. It's easy to set up, though!
  • All you need is a single dumbell - again, start with a light to moderate-weight dumbell to get an idea of how to do the exercise before you move up in weight.
  • In standing position, hold the dumbell in your left hand and hold onto something solid with your right. The left dumbell should be resting on the side of your upper thigh.
  • Now just explode up with your left leg directly out to the side as high as possible and hold it there for a second or two! You should feel a strong squeeze in your outer hip area.
  • With this exercise, use a POWERFUL movement and don't be afraid to start building up to heavier weights. This isn't a "squeezy-toney" type of exercise. We're going for an explosive push up and out to the side.

When you've done 6 to 8 reps on the left left, switch over to the right leg and do the same thing. Rest 60 seconds after you've done both legs then repeat for 2 more sets (3 sets total). Remember, once you're familiar with the exercise, start piling on the weight so that you can ONLY get those 6 to 8 reps. If you can get more reps, increase the weight next time.

Now we're going to add in the final segment of the wider-hip workout...sideways treadmill walking.

This is a unique way to use the treadmill that gives you two main effects. The first is increasing blood supply to the outer hips (which is important to help support muscle growth). The second is putting a stretch on the outer hip muscles with each step you take.

  • Be sure to watch the video on this one so you know how to do it before you step on the treadmill sideways!
  • First, set the treadmill on a bit of incline - this will give you greater resistance, better stretch and faster results. About 3 to 5% grade is good.
  • Set the treadmill to a slow speeed - 2 to 3 mph is a good starting point. Stand on the side panel of the treadmill (right beside the tread), facing left. Grip the side rail in front of you and the front rail to your right. This will stabilize you in 2 planes and allow you to get yourself off the treads if you stumble.
  • With this exercise, you are basically going to be walking sideways with leg cross-overs while on the treadmill.
  • When facing left, step on FIRST with your right foot, then immediately cross over it with your left foot to get started. Watch your feet and stay on the middle of the tread.
  • Our goal is to use this technique to get a great stretch. To do this, exagerrate the length of your step and keep a VERY slow speed on the treadmill (e.g. 2 mph). With this long step, you'll get a STRONG outer thigh and glute stretch with every rep (on the higher leg) and a good muscle-pumping workout on the lower leg.
  • Go for about a minute facing that way then step off, take a short rest, e.g. 30 seconds, then do a minute facing the other direction. Repeat this for 5 to 10 minutes.


The Overall Program

Here is what the total hip-widening program is going to look like:

  • 3 sets Side Lunges - 8 to 10 reps on each leg going back and forth between legs
  • 3 sets Side Dumbell Abductions - 6 to 8 explosive reps on each leg
  • 5 to 10 minutes of Sideways Treadmill Walking - 1 minute intervals in each direction

This program can be done 3 times a week to really focus strongly on building up the outer hips.

To view the pictures and video of these exercises and techniques in action, click on the following link now!

http://www.fitstep.com/Misc/Newsletter-archives/issue54-hips.htm


And if you're interested in even MORE information on building the hips and glutes, be sure to check out my book "Gluteus to the Maximus - Build a Bigger Butt NOW!"

This book is PACKED with effective information on building the glutes and hips - and it's not "toning"...it's BUILDING!

http://www.fitstep.com/bigger-butt/how-to-build-a-bigger-butt.htm


ADDENDUM:

Physically widening the hips is really only part of the equation. The other part? Making the waist smaller. This gives you the illusion of wider hips right off the bat!

Achieving the smaller waist will primarily be a matter of fat loss and abdominal exercises targeted towards tightenting the waist (for example, the "Trunk Twist With a Twist" exercise found right before this article in this newsletter!).

Here are links to some information on fat loss that you might find useful:

Fat Loss Section of Fitstep.com
http://www.fitstep.com/fat-loss/fat-loss.htm

How To Lose Fat NOW - A Basic Fat-Loss Program That You Can Put To Work Today!
http://www.fitstep.com/Misc/Newsletter-archives/issue49.htm

10 Things You Can Do To Lose Fat Without Even Trying
http://www.fitstep.com/Misc/Newsletter-archives/issue10.htm



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Read The Winning Entry in our Funniest Workout Story Contest!

This is one HILARIOUS story...it's all about a giant ego, a treadmill and how to REALLY make an impression!

In the last issue of BetterU News, I told you about the funniest workout I ever witnessed then asked YOU to send in your best - the story with the most votes would get a great prize. Well, I received some VERY funny stuff!

Now the votes are in and the winner of the "Funniest Workout Story" contest is Karen Barker from West Valley City, Utah! Karen's story about Mike and his adventures on (and off) the treadmill received more than 30% of the total votes!

Karen wins a set of Lebert Equalizers (an excellent piece of gym equipment). You can read more about those here.

http://www.fitstep.com/fitness-equipment-reviews/equipment-reviews/the-lebert-equalizer-review.htm

Big thanks to Mark Lebert for supplying the prize for this contest!

Here's Karen's story....

--------------

Name: Karen Barker
From: West Valley City, Utah

My office has a workout room that is most often frequented by the guys in the office. Most of the women don't spend much time there because we don't like the posing, screaming 'one more, one more...' or strutting that some of the tough guys like to do when we ladies are there. One of the tough guys is Mike. Mike is about 6'3' and probably about 250 pounds.

He does everything at 100 miles per hour. If he is lifting weights, he has to lift all the weight in the room at the same time, yelling, and dropping weights. He looks at himself in the mirror all the time. He flexes and puffs up at every opportunity. And he laughs at some of the other guys with their 'wimpy' workouts, or the women when we try to do aerobics or Tae Bo. He is oblivious of anyone else in the gym. He often gets on the treadmill and runs like crazy, slinging sweat in every direction and even sometimes blowing his nose into the air. It is disgusting.

One day I was in the gym with another of the women in the office doing aerobics on the mats. In came Mike already wearing his shorts and a bright red sweat shirt, carrying a boom box. He looked at us and laughed. Then he turned on the boom box to some of his headbanger music that played so loudly that it was almost impossible to hear our aerobics DVD. We asked him to turn down the music and he just laughed and sped up. We decided to just pack up and leave the gym, as we were close to being done anyway.

As we gathered up our things, Mike got on the treadmill and cranked it up to top speed, and at a good incline. He started thundering away on the treadmill. He had only been on it for a minute or two, and Mike decided that the sweatshirt was too much.

He wanted to take it off, but, in typical Mike fashion, he wasn't about to get off of the treadmill just to take off some clothes. So he tried pulling the sweatshirt off over his head while running flat out.

When he had his eyes completely covered by the sweatshirt, he became disoriented, stumbled, and lost his balance. He aburptly stopped running but the treadmill didn't stop! He couldn't pull his arms back down to grab hold on the treadmill.

Mike shot off the back of the treadmill at the speed of light. The back of the treadmill was just a couple of feet from the wall, and Mike made a direct hit on the wallboard. He was going so fast, and was so big that he crashed nearly all the way through the wall, and let out a thunderous 'UUUggggghhhhhhh!' Then he fell to the floor with his arms straight up in the air and his head tangled in the red sweatshirt, landing directly on top of his boom box, smashing it flat.

For the longest moment, Mike lay there motionless. The only noise in the gym was the whirring of the speeding treadmill.

Luckily, Mike lived through the episode. The only things that were hurt were the wall, the boom box, and Mike's overinflated ego.

As soon as we realized that there was no blood or protruding bones, and we knew Mike would live, we died laughing. Mike lay there for a moment longer, unable to see because of the sweatshirt that covered his eyes. He slowly, unsteadily, got up and took off the sweatshirt, his hair standing straight up, his face bright red, and his breath coming in gasps. He looked sheepishly around the room at the few of us who were there laughing, picked up the remains of his pulverized boom box, and quietly left the gym.

The wall had a hole in it that reminded me of the times that Wiley Coyote crashes through a wall chasing the Roadrunner, and leaves his form clearly visible in the wall. Word quickly spread in the office, and soon there were whole groups of people coming to the gym to see the damage and to laugh.

Some of the guys started calling the gym, "The Hole in the Wall" or "The Hole that Mike Built." It took maintenance several weeks to repair the damage to the wall. That entire time people had fun reliving the event of Mike being launched through the wall.

The legend grew and grew until the story was that Mike had gone completely through the wall, and nearly killed a group of people in the hallway. Mike never came back into the gym until long after the crater was repaired. When he finally did come in to use the treadmill, he got undressed before he got on it! He didn't bring in a boom box again, but started wearing earphones. Harder to smash, I guess.



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