The
Great Big List of Calorie-Free Foods
Ever wish there were foods you could eat that
didn't contain any calories? Wish no longer. These
foods can be eaten guilt-free.
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It's
a little known fact (or in most cases, wishful thinking)
that some foods can, in certain situations, go from
being fattening no-no's to being totally calorie-free
simply by mangling your perspective. Here's a list of
those foods and situations.
1. Anything sampled when preparing food - If you're
taste-testing, those tastes are calorie-free. If you're
cooking for someone else and aren't going to be having
any yourself, those tastes actually have negative calories
and can help you lose weight.
2.
Anything eaten off someone else's plate doesn't count.
If you can get it when they're not looking, that's negative
calories again.
3.
Food "rescued" from the floor - When the "3
second rule" is in effect (i.e. it's still good
if it's only been on the floor 3 seconds or less), that
snack has zero calories. Plus, if you have to race your
dog to it and you win, you're allowed another bite from
the original undropped item for free.
4.
Out of necessity, food that is eaten on the day of the
expiration date has no calories. After all, we don't
want that triple-chocolate fudge cake to go to waist...
I mean waste.
5.
Anything eaten on your birthday, a friend's birthday
or a family member's birthday has no calories. This
includes family and friends whom you haven't spoken
to or mentioned in years.
6.
Foods that you've never tasted before are calorie free.
If you don't recognize it, eat it guilt-free. If you
can't even pronounce the name, that's negative calories.
7.
If you live in an Italian family, your fifth and sixth
helpings are calorie-free. Besides, "You're too
skinny, you need to eat more."
8.
The calories of any leftover foods will be added to
the total of the day you originally started eating them
on. This means the calories from the leftover pie you
eat on Wednesday only count on Tuesday, the day you
originally started the pie. And who cares about yesterday?
9.
If you can eat it through a straw, it has no calories.
For example, if you can get a piece of spaghetti through
a straw, you deserve it.
10.
Anything that contains the word "free" in
it has to be calorie-free because advertisers would
never lie or try to sell you a product that would make
you fat. This principle also applies to the words "lite"
and "reduced."
11.
The last item or bite on any plate has no calories.
For instance, the last cookie? No calories. The last
slice of pizza? No calories. The last box of donuts?
No calories.
If you put all of these calorie-free foods into your
diet, you will have great success in watching your waistline
- it will be way out in front of you where you can see
it!
